How to deal with debt collectors: 9 practical tips to stay calm and take control

No matter how many times you’ve been contacted by a debt collection agency, the calls are never easy. And getting multiple collection calls every day can be extremely stressful.

Debt collectors can be unpleasant, unscrupulous, and downright rude when they call you. And you may feel like you have little control over the situation when they call. But ignoring them or getting angry over the phone won’t make them go away. In fact, debt collectors might just push harder to get you to pay. So how can you keep your cool the next time a debt collector calls you? Learn how to deal with debt collectors with these six tips.

#1 Stay positive

It can be hard to remain optimistic when you’re getting collection calls, but having a positive attitude could change the way you deal with debt stress. If you let a collection call ruin your day, you’re playing into the hand of the debt collector. But if you’re able to think of the situation as temporary, you may be able to handle the call better. Remind yourself that you will get through this rough patch, and you may be able to handle the stress a little more easily.

#2 Do your homework

Don’t assume that just because a debt collector is calling you that their claims and demands are legitimate. It’s possible that they have the wrong person, that you’ve already paid your debt, that your debt has expired, or that their tactics are illegal. Brush up on your rights as well as your obligations with regard to debt collection calls so you feel more confident in your discussions with them. The last thing you want to do is commit to paying debt that isn’t yours.

Learn how to get out of credit card debt here.

#3 Prepare yourself

Feeling ready ahead of time can help reduce your stress when a debt collector calls. One practical way to prepare for the call is to save the debt collector’s number into your phone so that you know who is calling. It’s also wise to keep a written record of your conversations–who called you (name, phone number, and address), what they said, the name of and the amount due to the original creditor, and the date and time they called.

This helps you remember what a debt collector has said to you in the past, and how you would have responded if you were cool, calm, and collected. Debt collectors often try to catch you off guard. Keeping a log and preparing your responses in advance could counter their aggressive tactics and put you back in control.

#4 Slow down

When you’re on the phone with a debt collector, don’t forget to slow down and breathe. If they ask you a question you don’t know how to respond to, pause and collect your thoughts before answering. Try to control the pace of the conversation by responding when you’re ready so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Sometimes they may create awkward silence to trick you into filling the silence and giving them details that might not be favorable to you later.

If you think the debt is yours and that you’re still obligated to pay it, don’t admit to owing the debt until you’re sure. You could explain that you are unable pay anything right now but that you are looking into the validity of the debt. Don’t offer too many personal or financial details, or why you can’t pay them right now. It’s none of their business, and they could use those details to try to get you to commit to a payment. If you do want to pay the debt, don’t send them a check until you have a settlement offer in writing.

#5 Know when to walk away

Part of learning how to deal with debt collectors is knowing when not to. If a debt collector is making you frustrated, angry, or stressed out—hang up. Tell them they can call you later, once you’ve had time to think. Or, let them know that you don’t think you owe the debt and that they should send you the information on it. Take some time to decompress, gather your thoughts, and prepare.

Until you are ready to talk to them again, ignore the calls. Don’t pick up the phone from a number you don’t recognize. Remember that when a debt collector calls, you don’t have to answer. In fact, if you are angry or stressed, answering the call could be worse than ignoring it. After walking away from the situation and clearing your mind, you may be able to handle the call more easily.

#6 Take care of yourself

Don’t underestimate how important it is to take care of yourself when you’re stressed—it could make a huge difference in the way you approach a challenging situation. Stress that builds and is left unchecked could lead to anxiety, depression, or a feeling of helplessness. It can affect your sleep, your outlook on life, and your relationships with the people you love.

So, part of figuring out how to deal with debt collectors is learning how to take care of yourself. Whether it’s exercising, spending time with loved ones, reading a book, or watching TV, taking your mind off the calls could help you handle your stress better.

#7 Use tried and tested negotiation tips

The following tips can help you remain cool, calm, and under control as you seek a solution that works for you. 

• Remain polite: The old saying, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar," applies. The more polite you are, the more likely the debt collector will treat you with respect.

• Ask for proof the debt is yours: Legally, debt collectors must provide written proof that the debt they are attempting to collect actually belongs to you. This proof may be something simple, like a signed credit card agreement. 

• Ask for proof that the debt collector has the right to collect the debt: Anyone can pop up trying to collect a debt. What you need is proof that the debt collector has the legal right to collect money from you. For example, they may provide you with a signed contract from the original lender stating that the debt has been sold to them.

• Decide how much you can afford to pay: While waiting for proof from the debt collector to arrive, take time to work your budget and figure out how much you can afford to pay to settle the debt. This may be in the form of a one-time, lump sum payment or ongoing monthly payments. 

• Make a settlement offer: Debt collectors know that they're fortunate if they collect any money and don't realistically expect you to pay the total amount owed. When you negotiate either a lump sum payment or a monthly repayment plan, make a low enough offer to give yourself some wiggle room in negotiations. Let's say you owe $2,000 on a credit card. You may suggest a $1,000 lump sum payment in return for a letter stating the debt has been settled. 

• Stand your ground: If the debt collector shuts you down or says their company cannot accept your offer, let them know you're offering all the money you have to work with. A debt collector would rather receive some money than be left empty-handed. If a third party has purchased the debt, they have done so for pennies on the dollar. Anything you pay beyond those pennies is profit. 

• Do not pay anything until you have a signed agreement in hand: A verbal agreement will not hold up in court if the debt collector decides to back out of the deal. Before you hand over money, make sure you have written evidence of your agreement.  

• Know your legal rights: You can read more on your legal rights below. The primary thing to remember is that laws are in place to protect you as a consumer. 

• Remember that help is available: If the thought of negotiating on your own is overwhelming, a debt management program may be able to help.  

• Be kind to yourself: This, too, shall pass. 

#8 Arm yourself with legal rights and protections

The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) was written to protect consumers from over-pushy debt collectors. Here are highlights of that act: 

• Debt collectors cannot call you before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m.

• If a debt collector calls you at work, they must stop if you ask them to.

• Within five days of first contact, a debt collector must send you a written notice specifying the amount you owe, the name of the creditor, and what you can do if you believe there's been an error.

• If the debt collector fails to comply, you have the right to file a complaint with the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) or even a lawsuit.

#9 Get help with your debt

The stress of constant collection calls and the feeling that you are stuck in a never-ending cycle of debt can feel all-consuming—especially if you don’t see any way of putting your debt behind you. So, if you’re struggling with debt and the collection calls just keep coming, it might be time to take action.

Freedom Debt Relief is here to help you understand your options for dealing with your debt, including our debt settlement program. Our Certified Debt Consultants can help you find a solution that will put you on the path to a better financial future. Find out if you qualify right now and start relieving your debt stress today.